 |
| D's doppelganger (image) |
I was the eldest of three kids growing up. I never had predetermined plans when it came to my own family, but I think in the back of my mind I knew that three was a number that sounded right.
I had Miss M & Miss V in less than two years and had done the whole baby & toddler stages when I started getting the urge to have another. I wouldn't say I was clucky exactly, but it definitely felt like I wasn't 'done' having kids. I had no urge to have a boy. If I am being honest I much preferred the idea of having another girl. Regardless of gender, the idea of three children just felt right.
Of course now D is here I cannot imagine life without him or what I did with myself without him around. The hour between 5 and 6pm was certainly more calm, I actually got to sleep longer than 3 hour stretches at night (sob!) and my boobs were my own.
D almost broke me as a baby. I can say that with certainty now with the benefit of hindsight. He continues to push me to my limits as a toddler. However, mixed in with the stress of being his mother has always been the relief of knowing that once I weather the hard bit I am dealing with at any moment, it will become part of my history. I felt like I had climbed Mount Everest when I had made it through the first 6 weeks of his life and knew that I never had to do that with another newborn EVER again.
I don't find myself looking back much and missing any particular aspect of his life as time marches on. Instead I look forward to the future (some of which has already arrived as he toddles about the place like a little drunk man) and knowing that soon sleepless nights will be over. At least until Miss M and Miss V hit puberty and I start waiting up for them to arrive home on a Saturday night. I figure I have at least 5 or 6 years of sleep before that arrives though and I am going to enjoy the hell out of sleep until it does!
How did you know when you were done having kids?
Oh I could have written a lot of this post. D is definitely my last. A part from the health risks for me of having another, I feel done diggity done. Family complete.
ReplyDeleteI'm looking forward to soaking up the time and focusing on the future.
Isn't it a great feeling?
ReplyDeleteI am finding great pleasure in offloading his outgrown clothes & baby stuff as well. I definitely don't feel sad when I see his outgrown 000 onesies, instead I breathe big sigh of relief!
I wasn't done - I always hoped I would get the opportunity to have a third. The decision was taken out of my hands when my marriage ended and although I hoped I would meet a really great guy and have a third and final baby, it hasn't happened. It makes me sad sometimes but then I pull my head in and give thanks for the two healthy girls I have. It is too late for me now, and it is rare that I have to get up to either of my kids in the night, so I know I don't have that newborn stuff in me now. I am just on the very edge of the terrible teens and all the scariness and wonderfulness that entails so I am going to enjoy the pending births of my cousin's first baby and of course, P23's next little one and be thankful that I can hand them back :-)
ReplyDelete